where are all the amazing men?

the men are not alright

here is a question i’ve been asking myself lately:

why is it so easy to meet amazing women, but so hard to meet amazing men?

i am, admittedly, surrounded by amazing women. i was raised by women, nearly all of my close friends are women. i work out with women, my favorite coworkers are women. to me, it seems amazing women—strong, powerful, intelligent, kind, successful, intuitive women—are everywhere.

i can’t say the same about men.

during my month in mexico, i met three new women, and three new men. and the women—the women FAR surpassed the men, in nearly every area. of the women i met, two were fellow traveling new yorkers (ie, on the surface, similar to myself) and one was a mexico city native. all three were immediately, innately friendly; our interactions almost entirely absent of the kind of awkwardness that often surrounds a first impression. all three were smart and successful, with interesting career paths and stories to tell. all three were independent—they lived on their own, they traveled on their own, they’d designed full, impressive lives that lit their souls on fire. all three, i liked immediately. all three, i felt i could talk to for hours.

all three made me think: god, there’s truly no feeling like making a new female friend. that moment, it’s electric. it sizzles, but not with romance or lust or anything sexual. it’s that warm, liquid-y feeling of knowing, of being seen. of thinking, oh, you too?

i love this feeling. and i have it often, because i encounter amazing women nearly everywhere i go.

i rarely—if ever—have this feeling with men.