5 things: low power mode
on leaning into a quiet season. plus: the book i devoured in 2 days, amanda knox reclaims her story, my labor day sale purchase, and more.
happy long weekend, friends!
it’s early saturday morning (like, before 7am early), and i’m sitting here at my laptop, sipping my coffee, figuring out how to put my current vibe into words. in a little under an hour, i’ll head to penn station, suitcase in one arm, oversized tote in another, and board a train to dc—a city i haven’t visited since middle school. dc hasn’t exactly been on my list, especially since our current administration took control. as of a few weeks ago, i had zero plans for the long weekend. negative plans, almost. i’ll be traveling quite a bit for work in october, i’m having surgery in november (if all goes to plan), and then it’s thanksgiving, and christmas, and then, soon after, my 40th birthday (!). so i told myself that from the moment i returned from my two week european sojourn (what bliss! what a privilege!), i’d stay put.
but then, soon after we returned from france, i got a text from my friend bruce.
udo insists you go to dc labor day weekend.
last year, his friend udo had hosted a big shindig over the holiday weekend. this year, i’d made the cut! (joking, mostly—i’ve known udo tangentially for over a decade now, but we’ve only started to click in the last few years).
i waffled for a few moments. i’d told myself i was staying put. i needed to rest! i was just getting back into my routine.
but then i thought, you only live once.
so i told bruce to count me in—but that i wouldn’t arrive ‘til saturday, because work was (is) crazy and i didn’t want to be stressed out running to catch a train on friday night whilst trying to dial into a client call.
joke’s on me, because yesterday afternoon was the chillest friday i’ve had in ages. but honestly? i’ve no regrets. i was able to use yesterday to do laundry and pack leisurely, to prep the kittens for their cat sitter and feed my friend sky’s cat (she, to, is away for the weekend; we share the same cat sitter—hooray for neighborhood friends!). i ordered takeout, and got into bed at 9pm. i was asleep by 930, and up at 6.
i’m excited for the weekend; i’ve got a bevy of fun outfits (some old, some rented from nuuly). i ordered CBD drinks to have at the party because i’m still not feeling particularly boozy after my ER stay. on sunday, we’re going to the african american museum, which i’ve heard is incredible, and of course, i’m excited to hang with my friends, who’ve been wonderfully attentive following my health scare.
but also, i’m SO DANG HAPPY i stayed home last night. so dang happy that staying home is a good portion of my personality right now.
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at the end of our sessions, my therapist usually asks me one question: how are you going to take care of yourself this week?
i sometimes find this question a bit hard to answer—because many of my self-care habits seem trite and silly when spoken aloud, and because all things considered, i have it so good.
this week, after venting for an hour about a frustrating work situation, and how i felt like my post-ER anxiety was following me around, she asked the question.
how are you going to take care of yourself this week?
i thought for a moment. i intended to pick up my usual post-therapy sushi on the way home, and ride my citibike through the rapidly cooling streets of new york (bless, fall is on the way!). i had very few plans between that (tuesday) and my trip to dc. i intended to read, and go to bed early so that i could wake up early and prioritize my morning workout time before diving into meetings.
i shrugged. and then i said, i feel like i’m sort of in low power mode for the next few weeks. you know, like when you put your phone on low battery, so that it conserves it? it’s a silly analogy, but…
she grinned. i know exactly what you mean, she said. and i think it’s an accurate metaphor.
i’ve been thinking about it a lot since then, this idea of low power mode. it’s not the most exciting, or the most social, but i think it’s what i need right now. for the next few weeks, yes, but also probably for the next few months, maybe even from here until the end of the year.
because there is my job, which continues to have high highs and low lows, and which is—whether i like it or not—rather stressful. this stress ebbs and flows based on how well i manage it, of course, but it’s a factor, and one i can’t ignore. we’re cruising towards not one but two productions in the month of october; anyone who’s ever worked in advertising knows, productions are the most fun and the most insane. if all goes according to plan, i’ll be out of my apartment for at least two weeks of my favorite month here in new york, if not three. cross your fingers and toes we shoot somewhere fun, and also…pray for me and my sanity!
there is my heart health, which, following a cardiologist appointment this week, appears stable (thank goodness). i’ve got an echo scheduled for early september, and a holter monitor to wear for two weeks (starting tuesday, so that i can swim this weekend in dc!). these two things are a ‘just to be 100% sure’ situation; both my primary care doctor and the cardiologist think that in all likelihood, this was somewhat of a fluke. an infection, stress, dehydration, anxiety, maybe some combination of all of the above. i think i’ll sleep better at night once the echo reveals no underlying issues; once my holter shows i’m fine.
there is the anxiety i seem to have developed following my ER visit, which gets better by the day but is real and present. my moms, in their retired doctorly vibes, have kindly floated the idea that maybe i have a teensy bit of (light) ptsd from the event. this feels like an awfully intense diagnosis for an event in which i was ultimately fine - but i suppose thinking you’re about to die in a restaurant can fuck a girl up for a bit. for the most part, the anxiety continues to abate—but i’ve noticed my sensitivity to noises and sensations has been ramped up a notch. en route to the cardiologist on wednesday, my train got stuck underground for a few minutes. this is something that’s happened to me dozens of times in the nearly 20 years i’ve lived in new york, but on wednesday, it set me off. my face got hot, i felt myself panicking. what if i had another heart event right here on the subway train? what if no one could get to me in time? i turned on the calming music my therapist had shared (linking it here for you!) and took some deep breaths; in a few moments, i was fine. i am fine, or i will be soon. but the feelings have not left me, not entirely.
come late november, i’m tentatively scheduled for fibroid removal surgery. the exact procedure is still up in the air, my pre-surgical appointment has been postponed twice now, and i won’t know for sure until september 30th. the hope is that i can have surgery the week before thanksgiving, so that i don’t have to take as much time off of work, and can recover during the holiday week. i’ve been told the first week or two is somewhat intense, but that things get markedly better from there. my family has already blocked off the week to take care of me, which is helpful and wonderful but also, is a lot of people in a small apartment. the good news? i’ve had so many doctor’s appointments and iron infusions and tests this year that i’ve already hit my out of pocket maximum! which means i don’t have to stress about the costs of surgery (i am lucky enough to be able to afford it either way, but lord knows i’d rather spend $1k on my birthday trip to mexico than a hospital bill).
in the midst of all the above, i am attempting to live my life. i’ve got a music festival (also in dc!) at the end of september, and a fun group dinner the weekend before. i’m hoping to squeeze in another beach day (or two!) before the ocean is too cold to swim. i’m knee deep in planning my 40th birthday trip to mexico city, which is bringing me a LOT of joy—i’ve already got 10ish people confirmed and feel so lucky that my friends are deigning to splurge on a trip for me. i am admittedly only semi attempting to date; i spent a couple of weeks talking to a cute brit only to realize (thankfully both of us realized) that the chemistry was just not there. i continue to feel as though the apps are a cesspool of wackadoos, but that’s a conversation for another day.
where does it all leave me?! in lower power mode.
whenever and wherever possible, but especially on weeknights, i am taking it easy. i am prioritizing home-cooked meals, but not beating myself up when i need to order takeout because my brain is too damn fried to cook. i am going to bed early—like early, early—so that i can wake up between 6-7 and have enough time for coffee, email catchup, house cleaning, and exercising before my deluge of meetings behind (i’m not allowed to screenshot my work calendar but if i were to show you, your eyes would bug out of your head). i’m saying no to the things i don’t have the brain space for, and leaving room for the things i genuinely want to do.
but mostly? mostly i am listening to my body. i am attempting to slooooow down. we’re entering autumn, my most favorite season. a season of quiet time and early sunsets and cozy candles, and i intend to lean allllllll the way in. low power mode, here i come.
for now, tell me: how are you going to take care of yourself this week?
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let’s get into this week’s recs, shall we?
i really enjoyed this conversation with los angeles mayor karen bass, who has had—to put it lightly—a very tough year. historic wildfires. rapid recovery efforts. unsanctioned ICE raids. and 2025 isn’t over yet!
i’ll admit that i didn’t know that much about her career, but i do recall how historic her win was (she defeated real estate mogul rick caruso back in 2022—gives me hope for zohran!). sam fragoso never goes easy on his interview subjects, and his time with karen was no different. he pressed her on the fires, and on that now-viral clip of her return home to a burning city, in which she was pressed by a sky news reporter for answers and gave none. while bass admitted she’s thought a lot about that moment in the past 8 or so months, she also said she’s not sure she would’ve handled it differently if she could go back in time. rather, she maintains that what she wanted—what she needed—was to get on the ground, then respond.
it would be easy to watch this clip and dismiss bass as a leader. to demand an answer—then and now. but listening to her talk about what she set out to do in her mayoral term—and all the things she has done, things that don’t make the news (at least, not as far as the east coast), you have to give her credit. she remains steadfast in her convictions and her platform. she wants to eradicate houselessness, and she has a plan to do so. she’s behind the fastest post-disaster recovery effort the state of california has ever seen (something that, it should be noted, doesn’t appear to have made it to the news).
i often wonder why it is that so many of our politicians don’t seem to care about the constituents they’ve been elected to serve. why they’re more concerned with power than people. i don’t know where i’d stand on bass if she were my mayor, but i can say this: after an hour of listening to her talk, i feel certain she is a rare politician who does care—really and truly. that fact alone makes the episode worth a listen.
other episodes i enjoyed this week included this diabolical lies take on whether we should expect celebrities to speak out on gaza, this gilded gentleman episode about being gay in the gilded age, and this books, beach, and beyond interview with THE curtis sittenfeld, who is one of my most favorite writers (and overall inspirations!). if you’re looking for something lighter, may i suggest this girls gotta eat recap of the T&T engagement?
i loved emma rosenblum’s debut novel, bad summer people, so i was thrilled to see she had a new book out for summer: mean moms. folks, when i tell you this book is the epitome of a beach read, i mean it. it is the literary equivalent of white lotus: a satire of rich people behaving badly, which may or may not be my favorite genre?! mean moms centers around a wealthy, beautiful group of manhattan moms: frost, morgan, and belle, whose children attend the prestigious atherton academy, and whose lives revolve around gossip, money, and elaborate theme parties. when a new mom arrives on the first day of school, the women are suspicious. how did she get her kids into atherton so easily? where did she come from? what does she want?!
at first, sofa—who hails from miami—seems like a breath of fresh air. kind, down to earth, hilarious, and entirely unaffected by the manhattan/atherton scene. but as she integrates herself into the friend group, bad things begin happening. frost gets mowed down by a scooter. morgan gets robbed. belle’s business goes up in flames. the women begin to question whether sofia is who she says she is—or whether she (or someone else at the school) is out to get them.
i flew through this in a handful of nights, and enjoyed every moment of it, often getting into bed before 9pm to read. if you enjoy a literary romp (and/or you’re just reading for the thinly veiled recreations of popular new york moms—nell diamond and eva chen seem to have inspired characters in the book!), you’ll like this one.
get it on amazon | get it on bookshop
ps: if you’re a big reader, follow me on goodreads! i try and rank/save every book i read (i read 80 in 2024!)
moments after i finished the first episode of the twisted tale of amanda knox, i opened my phone’s browser and typed in “amanda knox hulu true.” because i genuinely could not believe what i was watching could be real. i loosely remember hearing about amanda’s case, which happened during my junior year of college—come to think of it, amanda was in italy the same semester i studied abroad in london—but i’d never dug deep into her story. i didn’t realize just how insane it was. how strangely she behaved (something she readily admits now). how unfairly the police treated her (in one scene, the cops literally slap her to get her to ‘admit’ to wrongdoing—something she maintains actually happened). how intensely the media villainized her, painting her as a sex-addicted harlot who’d murdered her best friend.
the show, which is executive produced by monica lewinsky (!), is a dramatization of amanda’s memoir, which means that if you buy her side of the story, nearly everything you see on the silver screen is real. knox is played by grace van patten, who is positively unrecognizable from her tell me lies character—a testament to her ability to fully sink into a role. sharon horgan costars as her mom, which is a blessing, because i always want to see sharon horgan on my tv screen!
i’m only a handful of episodes into the show, and i’ll tell you: i am hooked. it is salacious, and fascinating, and also a little bit horrifying, too. knox was convicted of her friend’s murder in 2009, acquitted in 2011, then retried and convicted again in 2014 before finally being exonerated in 2015. as i said: a wild ride. if you followed this trial even just a little bit, the show is a must see.
if you’ve also started it, i’d love to know: what do you think so far?! is it too much, or juuuust enough?
ps: speaking of amanda knox, i really enjoyed listening to her interview on work in progress with sophia bush. here’s part one, and here’s part two.
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ALL HAIL TOMATO SEASON, am i right?! i cannot tell you all how many tomatoes i have been eating as of late. i mean, i guess i can tell you: i eat the cherry ones like candy, popping a handful every time i stroll into my kitchen. i’ve made my way through 4 big guys (two beefsteak, two heirloom) in this week alone. i’ve cooked with them, i’ve sliced them and put them atop sourdough with mayo and sea salt and some extra sharp cheddar. i’ve simmered them in soy sauce and sesame oil (last week’s recipe was SO GOOD, highly recommend making it). i will be tomato season-ing ‘til the tomatoes disappear from the farmer’s market, which means i have at least a few more weeks to make this week’s recommended recipe, which comes at us courtesy of ambitious kitchen, one of my favorite food blogs. it’s for roasted cherry tomato sauce, and it comes together in less than 30 minutes with just a roasting pan and a blender. SAY LESS. pasta is my love language, i adore a red sauce (way, way more than a cheesy sauce—can’t stand an alfredo, don’t kill me), and this one looks simple enough for a weeknight meal. my MO as of late is simple dinners + more takeout than usual, as i navigate my way through a busy season. but 30 minutes? 30 minutes, i can do!
also on my ‘soon to make’ list: this brown sugar zucchini bread + this pasta should help me make quick use of all the zucchinis in my veggie drawer.
after lululemon, beyond yoga makes my absolute favorite workout wear. buttery soft, just the right amount of stretch, dryer friendly, and available in a bevy of colors, there’s nothing like it. if you see me at bar method or down in my apartment building’s gym, there’s a good chance i’m rocking a beyond yoga set—generally a matching one.
so you’d better believe that when instagram informed me that the brand had an extra 25% off sale going on for labor day, i hustled my booty (aka my fingers) the website and put this perfect cherry red set in my cart! i snagged a pair of leggings, a cropped tank, and a pair of bike shorts (because why not?!) all for $130, which, while not nothing, is markedly reduced from what my total would be on a normal day. my general feeling about labor day sales is that the juice is only worth the squeeze if it’s a) above 20% off or b) an item i know and love and use/wear regularly. this sale fit the bill!
sizes are going fast, but there are LOTS of fun colors in the sale, especially if you’re a colorful leggings gal (i am, obviously).
before you go, here are a few things i enjoyed on the internet this week:
art director
’s newsletter, dabbling, is one of my absolute favorites. i loved her proposed rebrand of victoria’s secret, and—given this week’s news—must resurface her branding of taylor and travis’ wedding (!).speaking of, i loved jennifer weiner (one of my favorite writers) in the nyt opinion section on being happy for T&T. we needed this!!
this new yorker story—the orgasm expert who ended up on trial—is so insane. i hope someone buys the rights to make it into a mini series, STAT.
big fat OH HELL YES to this book club summer camp weekend sitch.
i caved and bought an expensive ($30!) bar of exfoliating soap. and i’m not ashamed to say: i cannot wait for it to arrive.
speaking of expensive, i am dreaming of this plaid doen dress for fall. this gap one (though spaghetti strap vs. sleeved) is a nice alternative.
i can’t wait to make this sweet almond leccese iced coffee—and i really loved reading about the jewish population in lecce, a beautiful city in puglia that i visited last summer (and had no idea was once home to many jews!).
rebecca atwood’s home in arch digest is a feast for the eyes!
❤️ and that, friends, is where i leave you. if you like this post, it would mean the world to me if you’d hit the little heart icon, as well as consider sharing it on stories—so that big feelings can be seen by more people ❤️
Love low power mode! Handy to give myself permission to dial DOWN!
Monica Lewinsky’s podcast episode with Amanda Knox was really good too!