grand talks 04: emma golden on leaving instagram
one of my favorite internet friends on taking breaks from the internet
when i first conceived of this series, emma was at the top of my list.
because i knew—i just knew—she would give good interview. as anyone else who follows emma on instagram, or here on substack knows, she is kind, intelligent, and hilarious. she’s the rare influencer who actually feels real, you know? you watch her stories and you think, if i knew this person in real life, i think we’d be friends. i remember when emma and i first exchanged phone numbers. we were texting one another about the dangers of parasocial relationships and—for lack of a better word—about how people on the internet love what i will kindly call trauma porn. about how our follower counts and our story views and our newsletter subscriptions always went up when we shared openly about something horrible, and about how many of those same people who had subscribed to read all about said horrible thing promptly unsubscribed the day after, ensuring they’d never again have to pay $5 to read our words.
it is a strange thing to be a person on the internet—period—and an even stranger thing to be a person on the internet who shares vulnerably, a person who talks honestly—or at least, as honestly as they’re capable of—about their real life. both emma and i have, for whatever reason, chosen this path. and it has been comforting to me to know that on the bad days, she is there, reachable via a series of blue and white imessage bubbles. she’s on the other side of the country, and she is a person i’ve never met in real life, but she’s there, nonetheless. our budding friendship is proof that not all parasocial relationships are bad. that good things and good people can come from the internet!
but that isn’t what i asked her to talk about today.
instead, i asked her to tell me about that time she took an entire month off instagram. GASP! kidding, but also not. because for an internet person, a month is quite a long time. but emma did it. and for a damn good reason. her answers made me think long and hard about the time i spend online, and i imagine they’ll do the same for you—whether you’ve got a following or not.
psst: don’t forget to scroll all the way down for emma’s favorite comfort food (hint: carbs!), current obsession, and a few more fun things, including some VERY EXCITING NEWS.
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