5 things for friday
away we go (to italy!). plus: better than takeout black pepper tofu, the perfect (travel!) pill box, the book i can't stop thinking about, and more
when this hits your inbox, i’ll be flying through one last day in new york before i depart for 8 days in italy! as i write this, i’m nearly packed, having spent the past few days laying out my clothes (my forever packing ritual, and one i both enjoy and swear by) and making a list of last minute ‘don’t forget’ items (i keep this in my notes app, which syncs to both my phone and computer!). tomorrow, i’ll go for a morning run to get my steps in before i’m propped in airplane seat for 9 hours, duck home for a quick shower, and then pop over to my neighborhood nail salon for a fresh vacation mani/pedi (is there anything better?!).
when i booked this trip a few months ago, it felt incredibly far away—unreal, almost. italy?! for 8 days?! when you don’t even have a job?! are you insane?! but here we are, international driving permit secured, bag packed, nearly ready to go. as it turns out, there just might be a little something to taking the leap. soon after i booked this trip, having secured a house swap and told myself this was a much cheaper way to travel (it is!), i got a freelance gig, and then a second one. it’s true that i still don’t know what my life will hold when i return, but for now, i am choosing to believe it will (continue to) be okay.
as someone who studied abroad in europe in college, and had the incredible privilege of visiting many a city while she did, it’s sort of a shock to me that i’ve never been to rome; that in fact, i’ve spent barely any time in italy. years ago, my friends got married in cannes (magical, i know!), and a group of us spent the week or so leading up to the wedding traveling together. on that trip, i spent a weekend in genoa, where i ate the best pesto i’ve ever had in my life (and i have eaten a lot of pesto!), and a day in portofino, which is hands down one of the prettiest places i’ve eve been (photo evidence above). i have such fond memories of this trip—both the weekend in genoa leading up to the wedding, and the wedding itself. i recall feeling so fulfilled, so happy, so free.
i recall eating oh so much gelato, and stripping off my sweaty clothes to swim in hidden coves. i recall climbing oh so many steps, and laughing ‘til my ribs hurt; watching window-hung laundry swaying in the breeze. earlier this week, i asked my friend molly if she was feeling stressed by my decision to check my luggage. god, no, she said. i’m a very chill traveler (i have never been a very chill anything…what a dream!). once we’re on vacation, it’s in god’s hands, she said. whatever happens, happens, and we roll with it!
i think, in some ways, this is what i love about travel. the way it pushes you ever so slightly out of your comfort zone, the way it reminds you that nothing, really, is in your control. your flight may depart on time, or it may not depart at all. your luggage might arrive safely at your destination, or be lost forever. you might follow a winding road to the very best of your ability, and still get lost. you might stumble upon a beach you didn’t realize was there, eat the best bowl of pasta on a teeny tiny cobblestoned side street. you have no idea what’s going to happen—not really, anyway—and that’s the magic of it.
molly and i don’t have a ton of plans for our week or so away. if all goes smoothly, we’ll arrive (along with our luggage!) in rome on saturday around noon, and check into our hotel (knowing that our house swap week is free, i splurged on soho house for the weekend, and i. can’t. wait.). we have a dinner reservation that evening at a restaurant recommended by a friend, and hope to stroll the trastavere neighborhood and maybe do some shopping. sunday morning, molly has kindly agreed to accompany me to the torre argentina cat sanctuary, where well-cared for stray cats perch among actual ruins (!!!), then we’ll head to a museum and do some more exploring. i’ve bookmarked a series of shops and restaurants i hope we’ll stroll by, but beyond that, our goal is just to see, be, and enjoy.
come monday morning, we’ll head back to the airport and board a ryanair flight (pray for us!) to brindisi, where we’ll rent a car and drive an hour to a little town called alezio, which will serve as our home base for the week. the next morning, we’ve got a local pasta-making lesson (!); later in the week, we plan on doing a boat day. beyond that, we’ve got a long list of local beaches we want to explore, and a car to take us just about anywhere our little hearts desire. our week is wide open, and i’m hopeful a little bit of adventure will find its way in. i’ve packed my running shoes, and am very much looking forward to exploring on my own two feet, and maybe even running past a handful of roman ruins. i intend to eat my weight in fresh pasta, and probably pizza too. as such, i’ve packed mostly light, breezy dresses, along with a handful of linen-y separates and loose tees. my body may not look exactly as i’d hoped pre-vacation, but such is life, right? i can’t (and won’t) let that stop me from enjoying italy as it’s meant to be enjoyed: by mouth.
if you’d like, you can follow along on instagram stories here. we leave friday evening!
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unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably watched the perfect couple by now. the netflix adaptation of elin hildebrand’s beloved novel hit the small screen a few weeks ago, and immediately, the internet went WILD. those of us who’d read and remembered the book waxed poetic about all the changes the show had made. many of us wondered aloud: what on earth was going on with that dance sequence? and nearly all of us agreed: nicole kidman was perfectly cast as greer garrison winbury, a popular author and acerbic ice queen who will do just about anything to hold her “perfect” marriage and family together. i won’t rehash my thoughts on the show (you can read my take here), but i will say, if you enjoyed it, this episode of books, beach, and beyond is worth a listen. nicole talks about what drew her to the show, as well as all the other book to screen adaptations she’s been a part of (and there are many!). she is such a poised, eloquent, and quietly funny human, and i adored every moment of her conversation with elin and tim.
ps: i’ll share more about this in an upcoming newsletter, but this week, i also started listening to empire city, which tells the story of the NYPD (hint: it has roots in the slave trade—if you didn’t know, now you do!). i also really loved this episode of we can do hard things, in which sonya renee taylor discusses how loving your body can change your life (let’s just say i felt this one DEEPLY).
i flew through this audiobook a few weeks ago, and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. so much so that i had to look back on my last few newsletters to ensure i hadn’t had a brain fart and shared it already. this book. this! book! it blew my mind. i’m so glad i did the audio version (which the author reads), and would encourage you to do the same, if audio is something that works for you (hot tip: if you have spotify premium, you can listen to some audiobooks for free—that’s what i did here!).
from the time she is little, patric gagne knows she’s different. she makes people feel uncomfortable, causes them to react in ways she doesn’t understand. emotions like fear, guilt, and empathy elude her. at times, she feels a near-suffocating pressure, a pressure that threatens to overwhelm her unless she finds a way to release it. so she steals. she lies. she does things her mother has told her not to do. she picks locks and sneaks into homes that are not her own, stabs her classmate with a pencil. she does all of this not because she wants to be bad, but because she has to do something. something to release the pressure.
it’s not until college that she’s given a name for the way she feels—she is a sociopath. the only problem? despite being the very first personality disorder identified, sociopathy has been neglected by mental health professionals for decades. no one knows how to treat her, very few believe she’s treatable at all. she looks around, and all she sees to compare herself to are monsters. the types of people who do terrible things, the people society believes are better off dead. in the eyes of most, sociopathy and psychopathy are one and the same, and in both cases, there’s no hope to be found.
but when patric reunites with a childhood flame, she’s struck by a particular sensation: love. she is not entirely unfeeling after all. and if she can feel that emotion, perhaps she can learn to feel others, too. together with her partner, and the sole mental health professional she can find that’s willing to treat her, patric embarks on a journey to define what sociopathy means—to prove that her diagnosis is both unique and treatable.
if you like the book as much as i did, i highly suggest listen to the author on the armchair expert podcast, too.
or if you prefer, get it on amazon
ps: if you’re a big reader, follow me on goodreads! i try and rank/save every book i read (and i read about 50-60 a year!)
i think i could watch approximately a million seasons of slow horses, appleTV+’s darkly funny spy drama. slow horses follows MI-5 agent jackson lamb and his band of ‘slow horses’—a somewhat dysfunctional team of agency rejects—as they attempt to save england from sinister forces. when season 4 opens, one of said rejects is walking down the street, headphones on, stuffing takeaway chips (fries) into his mouth while a car bomb explodes behind him. and he’s got no idea. must be some serious noise-cancelling power in those babies. from there, we’re led to believe—if only for a moment—that slough house’s river cartwright has been shot and killed. by his own grandfather.
in other words (pardon my terrible, not at all on purpose pun!), the season starts with a bang. i’m only a few episodes in, but i have to agree with the youtube commenter who says, “every second of gary oldman’s screen time is pure bliss.” it’s the truth, and one of the things that makes slow horses so incredible. i rarely hear folks talking about this show, and can’t quite figure out why. it’s smart, it’s funny, it’s gripping. the casting is incredible, the writing is top notch. what’s not to love? if you’ve not watched it yet, now’s the time.
psst! if you like this post, it would mean the world to me if you’d hit the little heart icon, as well as consider sharing it on IG stories or substack notes—so that big feelings can be seen by more people ❤️
i’ve made this excellent recipe for black pepper tofu twice in the past week or so. i can’t get enough! many recipes claim to be “better than takeout” but honestly? i think this one actually is. and it’s oh so easy to make, too. crispy tofu and cooked-just-enough veggies melt into magic, thanks to insanely delicious savory sauce that comes together in just 20 minutes. you can find the full recipe at the link here, along with a few notes from yours truly below.
you might not have the exact ingredients, and that’s okay!
the sauce calls for both light and dark soy sauce, but i’ve made it with my trusty reduced sodium soy sauce from tj’s both times, and it’s been delish (i think you could sub coconut aminos here if you can’t have soy!)
it also features shaoxing wine, which is a bit hard to find—but i’ve swapped it for mirin (easier to find in the grocery store!) both times i’ve made the dish, to great success
the first time, i had only chicken bouillon, not veggie. the second time, i didn’t have any bouillon at all. both times, the sauce was a+++!
don’t skip the cornstarch! it’s what helps the sauce really come together
i added way more celery both times, and a zucchini that needed using the second, bulking up the veggies in the dish. i can’t recommend this enough! green beans would be yummy, broccoli might work, zucchini is a no brainer. think you don’t like celery? try this dish—it might just change your mind!
organization makes me happy, and so does this travel pill box. it’s under $10, folds into a relatively small magnetized box, and fits all the meds i could possibly need on my travels. i shared it on instagram stories earlier today, and the crowd went wild! so, i figured i’d share it here, too. just in case you’re curious, here’s what’s stocked in mine.
hair skin and nail gummy vitamins
aleve muscle pain (in case my knee injury acts up abroad)
acetaminophen
allergy pills (you never know!)
cbd gel capsules (for sleeping)
iron pills
i’m also bringing magnesium, which i’ve been taking to sleep each night (it works SO WELL); for my october trip to mexico city, i’ll probably swap the allergy pills for pepto pills. but for a pill box that basically fits in the palm of my hand, i’m pretty well-stocked!
ps: remember the pair of perfect curvy jeans i shared in last week’s newsletter? they’re officially 25% off! i hit add to cart fast, and can’t wait for them to arrive!
❤️ and that, friends, is where i leave you. if you like this post, it would mean the world to me if you’d hit the little heart icon, as well as consider sharing it on stories—so that big feelings can be seen by more people ❤️
Slow Horses is SO good. Plus it’s a great book series too! Have the best time in Italy!
Love Slow Horses! The best show on TV right now, in my opinion. Enjoy Italy! Love the idea of just taking the risk and trusting it’ll work out.